bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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