She said her name was "party"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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