found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
whose ass print is on the piano?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
