i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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