so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
