You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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