You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
