I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
