If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You are a genius and a whore.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
