she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
birth control should be required to get into college
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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