I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
