what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
This toilet bowl is my home.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
