Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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