you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I believe in your delicious
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
