She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
God, I missed his penis.
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