she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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