If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
