So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
