We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize