and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
