He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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