Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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