she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
