it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
