jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
