her vagine was all disorganized.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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