We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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