There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
