She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
