Kiss
Puke
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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