I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
