So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
