im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
COCAINE IS GR8
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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