I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
