No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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