i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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