Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
