It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
