Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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