Your tits are I can't wait for
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
