it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
