Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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