The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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