im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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