does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
