i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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