Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
