I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
