I puked a lego.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
