Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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