Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
