do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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