those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
