Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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