the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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