Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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