are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
