He is such a slut. More and more my type.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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