you guys were way drunker than both of me
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
