You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
