you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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