i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
