are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
