New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
