I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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