Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
