They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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