I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
