I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
