seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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