i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
